Jobs and Moms

50% Savings on The Mom's Back-to-Work Toolkit: One Week Only!

21 years ago my daughter Danielle was born, and with her birth and the subsequent arrival of her sister three years later, I was honored with the best job of my life -- becoming a Mom.

As difficult as it is for me to comprehend, this Mother's Day weekend, that little girl is going to be graduating from college and starting on her own career path.

In honor of Mother's Day, in honor of Danielle and in honor of every Mom who helps to make a difference every day in the life of her family, I am pleased to offer a never-before special of 50% off the regular price of our online workshop and guide,  The Back-to-Work Toolkit: A Guide for Comeback Moms. 

To learn more about this one of a kind workshop, click here.  To redeem your discount, simply put in the code "Danielle" when checking out.  Act quickly -- offer expires at midnight on Tuesday, May 12. 

Mom Returning to Work? Tips for a Tough Economy

I was delighted to be included in a recent article about moms returning to work in a tough economy published in the September 10 edition of The Miami Herald. You can read the full article, Moms Returning to Work Find Daunting Job Market, by clicking here. You can also read more of my advice on this subject in The Work-Life Balance Blog by clicking here.

6 Tips for On-Ramp Moms Returning to Work

Are you a mom who has been thinking about returning to work? Here are some quick tips on everything from the back to work resume to the "comeback" interview (excerpted from The Back to Work Toolkit: A Guide for Comeback Moms):

1) Clear your calendar to make time for the search: Ideally, you should plan on spending at least fifteen hours each week on job-search activities connected with your back to work search. If you already have that amount of time available in your schedule, that's great. But if not, you’ll need to “create” that time by eliminating your non-essential time drains. By non-essential time drains, I mean all those volunteer commitments, social obligations and household chores that can be reduced or outsourced with a little bit of advance planning.

2) Create a hybrid or combination resume: The vast majority of employers, and almost all recruiters, will tell you that they prefer to see resumes formatted in the traditional reverse chronological style (this is the resume format you used in the past when applying for jobs). Unfortunately, this preference creates a real dilemma for women who have been out of the workplace for an extended period of time and don’t want “Homemaker” to be the first entry a potential employer reads. To address this conflict, if you have been out of work for at least a year consider changing the format of your resume from a chronological style to a “hybrid” or “combination” format that blends the best of a chronological resume with the benefits of a functional resume. Because combination resumes are accomplishment oriented, instead of date-centric, they provide a framework for showcasing your capabilities without drawing attention to the gaps in your work history. (For more information about back to work resumes, click here).

3) Enlist a success team: In the business world, savvy companies depend upon guidance from their Board of Directors. As the CEO of your job search, you too can benefit from the input of a few trusted advisors. Who might serve on your success team? • Colleagues and clients from your “former” life. • People you’ve met as a result of your volunteer duties • Contacts you make by attending industry association meetings or conferences. • People you’ve met through “former life” networks (perhaps college, graduate school or sorority networks).

Think about specific areas where you need assistance – and then ask for help.  While you may feel like you’re imposing on others, most people are all too willing to help.   Too often, as women, we limit the ways we allow others to contribute to us. Don’t demand help, but be open as to how a person might assist you, and of course, remember to always express your thanks for their time and guidance.

4) Dress in synch with the image you are trying to project: A good rule of thumb is to dress for the job you aspire to, not just the job you are interviewing for. However, if you’re concerned that you are going to be perceived as over-qualified for the job you are interviewing for, tone down the power look a bit. Instead of wearing a pantsuit, stick with the tailored pants and swap out the jacket for a cardigan set. And, leave the "soccer mom" accessories at home -- headbands, tote bags and necklaces with dangling baby charms detract from the sophisticated look you need to convey in the interview.

5) Be proud of your decision to stay home with your children: When asked about your decision to stay home with your children, be upbeat and positive. Use phrases like “I elected” or “I chose” to emphasize that your decision to stay home was planned and deliberate, not just a default position. Explain that you feel fortunate to have been able to be home with your children while they were young; emphasize that you have gained valuable skills during this time period; and then quickly steer the focus of the discussion back to your interest in the job. Whatever you do, never apologize for your decision to stay home or make excuses about why you didn’t return to work earlier.

6) Believe in yourself: Keep the gap in perspective! If you do your homework and learn to clearly articulate your strengths and unique qualifications, that confidence will serve you very well during this process. Being able to negotiate from a position of value, instead of from a place of need, will help you land the best job possible.

Networking on Facebook: You're Never Too Old To Learn

One of the most common worries my back to work mom clients express about returning to work is how their lack of technical expertise will be perceived in the marketplace.  It's a legitimate concern that absolutely needs to be addressed before launching a full-fledged job search.

I understand their trepidation.  Learning new software and technology lingo can be intimidating -- particularly when you're not particularly computer savvy.

For those of you who are feeling a bit timid about your ability to learn at an older age, I just had to share this story written by my 83 year old mom, who still works part-time as a reporter and also happens to be a grandmother of seven and great-grandmother of 3 (pictured above networking the old fashioned way with her great-granddaughter).  I hope it gives you faith that you're never too old to learn new skills, technological or otherwise, no matter what your age.

MAKING FRIENDS IN THE INTERNET AGE: BY LORE JARMUL

          "The more things change, the more they remain the same," the saying goes. Don't you believe it. As rapidly as technology changes today, it will change even more tomorrow. Let me explain.

          I had just about learned to use my cell phone when my model became completely obsolete. Everybody's cell phone suddenly had a place to take pictures. Why do I need to take photographs on my telephone? Well, in addition to sending pictures of a new outfit or a new baby, the cell phone can enable you to become a citizen journalist. This new age was ushered in when a bystander took a picture of the Virginia Tech Massacre as it was under way and sent it to CNN, thus bringing important breaking news to the country. I knew newspapers were in trouble, but now it seems professional journalists may face competition not only from bloggers but from any one who owns a cell phone. Except me, because I still have my old fashioned cell phone which can't take pictures. 

          And then there's e-mail. I've been using it for several years now, and I corresponded with my grandchildren that way. I felt very proud of myself, very much part of the 21st century - at least until last week. I sent a note to my granddaughter on Tuesday asking about arrangements for her mother's birthday, and by Friday I still did not have an answer. I could not understand why – I know kids are on line all the time. I placed a call on my old-fashioned land line phone, and spoke with my granddaughter, who explained it all to me.

          It turns out that she, and everybody else under the age of 50, is using Facebook. That's how young people communicate these days, by contacting the friends they have on Facebook. She's is in college and says she has about 500 Face Book friends. Well, I'm not on Facebook, and besides, who would be my friend – never mind 500 of them. But my granddaughter said she'd help me set up a Facebook account, and she would be my friend. That makes me number 501.

          Just as I was feeling utterly frustrated I read a newspaper article about John McCain. It seems he is just learning to use the internet and do e-mail.  I think I'll ask my granddaughter to contact him and tell him that he's behind the times, he needs a Facebook account. May be she will help him to set up an account, and he can be Friend number 502. And then she can ask John McCain whether his cellphone can take pictures.

Back-to-Work, Back-to-School!

As many of you know, I am an enormous fan of "going back to school." When you go back to school you ensure that your skills are fresh, you expand your network of business associates, and you give a big boost to your resume. Particularly for Comeback Moms, having up-to-date education noted on your resume can make the critical difference between being viewed as an "also-ran" or a "hot commodity" when looking for a new job.

Please keep in mind that "going back to school" does not mean that you have to sign up for a full-fledged degree program (given that over half my private clients are MBA's, I'm assuming most of you don't want to enroll in yet another graduate program). Sometimes, all you need to refresh your resume is to enroll in a certificate program.

A certificate is a credential issued by an institution in recognition of the completion of a curriculum other than one leading to a degree. Certificate programs allow you to concentrate on pursuing a specific subject within a field of interest, thereby providing you with a tool-kit of expertise and enhanced employment opportunities without the cost or time commitment associated with a full- fledged degree program.

What types of certificate programs are out there? I did a quick review of programs in my neck-of-the-woods and came up with a wide array of options. Here is just a sampling:

Certificate Program in Early Childhood Development (16 credits including a practicum of actual work experience offered through Purchase College in NY)

Certificate in Arts Management (Purchase College- for professionals interested in management options with the Arts World).

Certificate in Appraisal of Investment Properties (NYU, School of Continuing Education)

Certificate in Online Course Creation and Instruction (NYU, 3 courses, does have some pre- requisites)

Here is how can you find a program that is just the right solution to your needs:

First, call all the schools that are within a commutable distance of your home and ask for their catalog (be sure to tell them you are intererested in certificate programs). Don't overlook community colleges -- they actually have some of the more innovative programs out there. If you are uncertain about which schools are around you, use Petersons.com (outstanding site) to do a search by location and area of interest.

Once you've identified some programs, call the school and make an appointment to meet with the head of that department. Find out if there any prerequisites to enrollment and ask questions about the career paths of recent graduates. Even though these programs are a relatively small investment compared to grad school, you don't want to waste your time or money.

Finally, don't delay. Now is the time to do your research if you're interested in enrolling in a program for the summer or this coming fall.

How to Stay Marketable While Staying Home with Children

Q. After trying to juggle both a full time career and being a mom, I have decided to quit my professional career and become a full-time Mom. As much as I feel that this is the right decision, I do worry about the impact of this on my career. I’ve heard such horror stories about Moms trying to re-enter the workforce. Am I right to be concerned or should I just relax and enjoy my children during the next several years?

A. Would it help ease your fears to know that Sandra Day O’Connor, Meredith Viera and Nancy Pelosi all took time away from the workplace to be full-time mothers? Clearly, their careers didn’t suffer irreparable damage, and with some careful planning, neither should yours.

That said, now is the time to prepare for your eventual return, even if you expect to be home for several years. (If you ever ride the underground rail system in London, a voice comes across the intercom at each stop urging you to “mind the gap” as you disembark; a useful warning as well for Moms who take time to step off the employment track). Here are five suggestions to keep you career market-ready while you are home full-time with your children:

1. Use the time to explore new interests: Chances are the last time you got to choose your career direction was when you were a sophomore in college and you had to declare your major. Now, with many additional years of life and work experience behind you, your old career choice may no longer be your best option. Take advantage of this “break in service” to do some serious thinking about your future career direction. If ever you’re going to make a career change, now is the time to make a shift.

GOAL: Attend a career workshop through your local continuing education program or community college. If none are convenient, take a look at some of the wonderful career exploration books available at your local library or sign-up for a few sessions with a qualified career counselor. The sooner you clarify your career direction, the easier it will be to build up the skills, knowledge and experiences needed to support your new goal.

2. Maintain your network: Don’t allow “out-of-sight” to become “out-of-mind.” Your network of contacts will be the single most useful tool in your job search arsenal when you are ready to go back to work, so carefully nurture those relationships by making a concerted effort to stay in touch.

GOAL: At least once a quarter, connect with your network of colleagues by sending an article, a quick note or an invitation for coffee or lunch. Once a year, send holiday cards to your entire rolodex of contacts. Even if you don’t go back into your old line of work, you’ll still want to be able to call upon these people for references and general networking assistance.

3. Take courses: In today’s information-based economy, education must be an ongoing priority for people who expect to enjoy prosperous careers. Fortunately, the options for continuing adult education in today’s world are vast -- you can go to a traditional college, sign up for online courses, attend workshops/ conferences or study via a local continuing-ed program.

GOAL: Make it a priority to learn at least one new technology-based skill and one new industry-related skill per year.

4. Keep up to date with trade journals and association meetings: While we are on the subject of education, make sure you keep your skills fresh by reading trade journals or industry newsletters.

GOAL: When you’re a year away from re-entering the workplace, make it a point to attend industry meetings so you can collect business cards, make new contacts and be up-to-date on the latest developments within your industry. Nothing beats good old fashioned face-to-face networking to maximize your job search efforts.

5. Become a strategic volunteer: As a stay-at-home Mom you’ll be bombarded with requests for volunteer work (especially once your kids get to be school-aged). While volunteering is a noble task in and of itself, you can turn your volunteer assignments into a real win-win by strategically choosing assignments that complement your career goals and teach you valuable new skills.

GOAL: Once a year, seek out a volunteer assignment that helps you to learn a new skill, allows you to impact the bottom line or in some way puts you into a high-visibility leadership role. Don’t be afraid to take chances and step out of your comfort zone!

In summary, be proactive and you’ll be just fine. It doesn’t take long to become obsolete, but by keeping yourself at least partially connected to the business world, you’ll be able to quickly get your career back on track when you’re ready to re-board the employment train.

For lots more useful ideas for Comeback Moms, be sure to check out The Back-to-Work Toolkit: A Guide for Comeback Moms.

Did You Opt-Out or Were You Pushed Out?

The media is all abuzz over a recent report published by The UC Hastings College of the Law titled “ ‘Opt Out’ or Pushed Out?: How the Press Covers Work/Family Conflict" In a nutshell, the report questions the "myth" perpetuated by the press that moms leave the workplace as a "choice." Joan Williams, author of the study concludes that the press has falsely identified the pull of family life as the main reason why women quit, whereas a recent study showed that 86 percent of women cite workplace pushes (such as inflexible jobs) as a key reason behind the decision of moms to leave.

What do you think? If you had been offered an opportunity to work a flexible schedule would you have chosen differently? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this subject. Please post by hitting the comments hyperlink below.

A Letter From Nancy

Hi Stevie:

Thanks again for your willingness to share your letter with our community here at Jobsandmoms.com. I know it helps other moms to know they are not alone in their struggles.

Let me begin by assuring you that your fears are completely and totally normal. I’ve worked with many high-powered and accomplished women, and like you, most of them are shocked at how easy it is to lose their determination and focus once they’ve been home for a few years. Trying to juggle the job search with your many family/volunteer responsibilities is no easy task (and is made even more difficult when you don’t have a strong support system to help you navigate your way). As a result, your ability to stay motivated and on-task can be compromised more often then you would like – especially when there is a lack of financial motivation involved. “I’m gong back to work this fall” suddenly turns into “I’ll think about it next year” which morphs into “After the summer break, I’m really going to do this.” One year flows into the next and no real progress is made.

Unfortunately, the more “false starts” you experience, the more likely it is that you will begin to doubt your abilities. Instead of remembering all your accomplishments (of which you have many) and the variety of things you do really well, you concentrate on your shortcomings. Over time, you begin to believe your own negative press and convince yourself that you are utterly unemployable.

So, how do you break this negative pattern and begin to move forward?

While I could (and do) speak on this topic for hours, in the interest of brevity, let me share with you just a few strategies that have proven successful with my private clients:

1. Focus on Project “YOU”

When your children are ready to start the college search, I bet you’ll be devoting hours to helping them identify suitable schools, tour campuses and write college entrance essays. Doesn’t your future deserve the same level of care and attention?

Stop trying to “squeeze” this into your schedule and instead intentionally build your schedule around this project by reserving sufficient time for the research, networking and administrative tasks needed for a successful job search. You must pay consistent attention to this in order to reap significant progress.

2. Clarify your goals

As Yogi Berra once said, “If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” Once you commit to establishing a clear-cut career goal, and find something that is an exciting prospect, you’ll be amazed at how much more enthused you’ll feel about putting together an action plan for success (and you’ll also find tasks such as putting together the resume much easier to complete).

This is not an easy process, so if you’re having difficulty deciding on a definitive job or home based business target, it may be worth your while to get some professional help from a qualified career counselor. Alternatively, if you want to try to figure this out on your own, please consult some of the very useful career books I have noted on my website. Enrolling in a career workshop targeted to moms re-entering the workplace can also be a very motivating first-step. (If you can’t find a workshop in your area, talk to other moms and start a mini-support group on your own).

3. Do a Reality Check

After you have a clear goal in mind, begin a fact-finding mission to help you separate the “myths” and “realities” of your market value. If you sense that your skills are outdated, talk to people in your target industry to determine the steps you need to take to bring your expertise back up to an acceptable level. Of course, if your research indicates your skills are indeed out-of-date, or if you’re thinking about breaking into a new field, just talking to people is not going to be enough to make you market ready. Depending upon your job target, consider doing at least one of the following:

Take Classes: There are many options for “going back to school” as an adult. You can attend a continuing education class at your local community college, take some workshops or enroll in a degree or certificate program at an accredited university. Most programs offer weekend or evening classes to accommodate older students. Going back to school is one of the best ways to get yourself “back in the flow” while also gaining new contacts and experience that will serve you well during the job search. While tuition can be expensive, I believe the return on your investment will more than offset the outlay of cash over time.

Temp/Project Work: Project work gives you the opportunity to refresh your skills and gain up-to-date work experience that you can highlight on your resume. If you actively seek out assignments, and really approach this as a business, you might be able to earn enough income to become a full-time freelance worker.

Get involved with a professional association: This is a great way to meet people of influence within your industry while updating your knowledge of current trends and issues. Attending association meetings/workshops can also be a useful way to network and learn of job openings, before they get advertised to the general public.

4) Keep the Job Search in Perspective

While the media seems to love writing articles about the difficulties faced by re-entry moms, it’s important to keep in mind that lots of people face obstacles when looking for jobs. The search is difficult for new graduates who have limited work experience and are unfairly labeled as “slackers”. It’s a challenge for people who switch careers, are over 55, or have been laid-off. Interviewers discriminate against people who are overweight, have a stutter, or belong to the “wrong” religion, race, or gender. So, in terms of “being picked on” know you are in very good company.

Many of the obstacles moms face in getting a job really have nothing to do with being a sequencing mom, but instead are triggered by common job search blunders. Regardless of your current work status, if you come across as being nervous, uncertain about your goals or apologetic about your time at home, you’re odds of getting hired are slim. Like any job candidate in any interview, it is up to you to present a polished, relaxed and confident image. It takes work, but if you are well prepared for the interview and handle yourself like the professional you are, employers will find you to be a compelling candidate.

Last, but certainly not least, stop being so tough on yourself! Job search takes time under the best of circumstances, so be realistic in your expectations. Figure out what you want to do, stay focused on the details, and step-by-step, you’ll reach your goal.

Share Your Thoughts

As a career counselor who specializes in working with mothers, many of whom are sequencing moms, I am continually amazed by the abundance of talent that lies within the stay-at-home mom population. Well-educated women, with significant work and life experience, these moms represent a wealth of expertise that brings new meaning to the phrase, "Just a stay-at-home-mom."

Yet in spite of all their accomplishments, many of these women worry that their eventual return to the paid workplace is destined to be a difficult journey. This past week, I received a letter from one such mom, and it so poignantly captured the emotions involved with this transition, that I asked her permission to share her correspondence. She graciously obliged and I have reprinted the letter in its entirety below.

I will post my reply to her letter in the next newsletter, but in the meantime, I hope you will take a few minutes out of your busy day to share your thoughts on this most important topic by posting in our comments section below.

Dear Ms Collamer,

I hope you won’t mind my writing to you unsolicited. I have just read the article in More magazine, which quoted you, and what you said struck such a very strong chord that I felt compelled to be in touch. No doubt I am not the only one, and if you have been awash in such correspondence I apologise. I realize that you undoubtedly charge for counseling services but at this stage I am not even sure that such counseling is the right next move for me.

Many years ago I believed I was doing all the right things to ensure a long and reasonably prosperous career of some sort. I got as highly educated as I could afford, pursued a career in advertising with a certain amount of ambition and success and then moved into non-profit marketing and fundraising in order to use those skills while feeling better about myself. Then wham! marriage, children and emigration to the US. Since then I have cobbled together a life of mostly at-home motherhood with a fair bit of freelance writing, regular if infrequent theatre directing, a little teaching, administrative and strategic support for my husband’s music career, and even, recently, doing voice over work!

I am more than ready to go back to a more regular, almost full time (!) career, (my husband travels a lot and I am often a single parent in effect) and am certainly eager to begin the process of preparing for that reality in a few years when my children won’t want me to be there, let alone need me to be. But at this point I feel unqualified for anything. My résumé looks like a Jackson Pollock painting. There are jobs I am sure I could do, but can’t possibly prove it. I have almost no relevant, demonstrable evidence of anything much. It is thirteen years since I had a “real job”. I am not entrepreneurial by nature, though not lacking in good ideas for other people! I have thought about going back to school and completely requalifying as something else entirely – indeed a careers counseling program I did several years ago pointed to that idea, (careers counseling came out top on the various measures and tests I took!!!) but classes have proven incompatible with family life and at this point I need to bringing money in, not spending it on more time as a student. I feel like I must have made some really poor decisions along the line to be so seemingly smart and so stupidly unemployable.

I would certainly love to hear your thoughts on this, I now realize, not unique position. If you feel that whatever counseling you offer would indeed be appropriate I would be interested in learning more. I am nervous of going down that path willy nilly, as I am aware of how indulgent it can be if I am not able to act on advice immediately, but no doubt you are aware of that too.

In any event, thanks for your time and patience in reading this. Congratulations on turning your passion into a business – I admire you enormously.

Very sincerely,

Stevie Zimmerman

MBA Moms: Thinking about Going Back to Work

The University of Virginia's Darden School of Business is sponsoring two upcoming workshops (one in Boston and one in Chicago) for MBA Moms who have taken a hiatus from the workplace and are now thinking about returning. Register no later than September 1, 2006 using form available online:
http://www.darden.virginia.edu/acs/pdf/ChicagoRegistrationForm.pdf
For further information, please contact Laura Duggins:
(434) 924-4876 or alumnicareerservices@darden.virginia.edu