Jobs and Moms

Career Reinventions: Fun Questions to Ponder

As a career coach, I have the honor of helping my clients discover their inner passions, motivating values and lifestyle needs. Part of that discovery process involves asking key questions to help clarify and expand their world of possibilities.

I hope to have the opportunity to work with many of you in the near future to help craft your new career, but in the meantime, here is a sampling of questions for you to ponder on your own:

1) If you could make a documentary about any subject, what topic would you choose? Think about what your response reveals about your core values, areas of interest and personal belief system. Does your answer provide any insights into specific areas of interest that you should study further?

2) Who are the three people you admire most? As you think about the people you selected, analyze your choices to see if there are any personal traits, values or job characteristics that these three people share in common. Examine the common threads in their profiles for clues to the attributes you would like to replicate in your own life.

3) What would you like your obituary to say? While it is never pleasant to think about your own demise, writing your obituary can be a life-affirming experience. What does your fictitious obituary say about your personal relationships, work achievements, community contributions or personal triumphs? If you're not happy with how your obituary reads today, what steps do you need to take to ensure your actual obituary will reflect a life and a legacy that you will be proud to call your own?

4) Describe your ideal work day: Write about what time you would get up, if you would exercise, the types of people you would work around and the assortment of activities you would complete during the course of the day. Be thorough and include detail about the clothes you would wear, the work environment you'd prefer, and even the food you'd like to eat during the course of the day. Think about how what you wrote compares to the realities of your current life and decide on action steps to better align your life with your "perfect" vision.

5) What did you love to do as a child and why did you love it? Okay, so this is really two questions, but it is important to answer both. Did you enjoy performing at your parent's parties? Play beautician with your friends? Read books about horses? Make a list of your favorite activities and then write down why you loved doing each one. After you've completed both lists, analyze your responses to see if any consistent themes emerge.

Do you have some insightful questions to add to this list? Add your favorites to the list on our blog.

I Don't Know What I Want to Do!

When I was in college earning my masters in career development, I was required to take a full-semester course on career assessments. But in spite of this investment in my assessment education, I typically use assessments quite sparingly when working with my clients.

While I think assessments (a.k.a. career tests) can be quite enlightening for people who have limited work experience or who are looking for general career direction, my clients seem to experience more success when we use a wide variety of assessment techniques beyond the basic tests. Let me share with you four activities I recommend to clients who are searching for new career directions:

1) Make a list what you love to do and do best: All of us have a multitude of abilities. But, simply knowing what you are capable of doing isn't enough. The key to finding lasting career satisfaction is to not only know what you do well - but to know what you enjoy doing and do well. Once you have a better understanding of your motivating skills and interests, it will be much easier to assess the "fit" of potential careers and entrepreneurial opportunities.

2) Peruse the college catalogs: Even if you have no intention of returning to school, it's amazing what you can discover about your interests and options by reading through a variety of college catalogs. You'll learn about emerging growth industries and uncover new paths for career opportunities within your industry or area of expertise.

3) Invest in adult education: Consider enrolling in a continuing education class at your local community college or high school. This is an inexpensive, low-risk way to test out your interest in a new endeavor. While taking the class, talk with your teacher and other students to find out their thoughts on employment options, degree programs and growth opportunities within that industry. Then, if after taking a few non-credit classes you decide you're ready to get the needed credentials for success, investigate the possibility of enrolling in a degree or certificate program at an accredited college or online program. Most programs offer weekend or evening classes to accommodate older students.

4) Volunteer: Offering your services on a volunteer basis is a great way to test out your skills in a new line of work. For example, if you want to learn more about finance, you could volunteer as the treasurer for a fund-raising event at your church or synagogue. Or, you could sign-up to help prepare the budget for your favorite local non-profit agency. A good volunteer job can be time consuming, but it's a great way to test out your interest in a potential career.

Interested in getting 1-1 help with your career transition? Click here for more information.

Home Based Business Guides

There was such a strong response to the piece I ran in the last newsletter about the links to the downloadable home-based business guides we now have posted on Jobsandmoms.com, that I wanted to share another excellent resource to help turn your entrepreneurial dreams into reality.

If you're looking for "soup to nuts" instructions on how to get a business up and running, you should check out the topic specific guides compiled by Entrepreneur Magazine. They have guides to starting over 25 businesses -- ranging from Senior Care Services to Event Planning to Executive Recruiting Services (among many others). Click here for more information.

Yale Study

Last fall, The New York Times ran a front page story claiming that "many women at the nation's most elite colleges have already decided that they will put aside their careers in favor of raising children." The basis for this article was a survey conducted at Yale of less than 200 women, of which 60% of them (about 85 women) said that when they had children, they planned to cut back on work or stop working entirely. Now, another study refutes those findings, with just 4.1% of Yale women surveyed reporting that they plan to stop work entirely after having children, compared to 0.7% of men.

Personally, I am flabbergasted that either of these studies are getting any serious attention. With all due respect to the opinions of these fine students, I find it frustrating that so much attention is being paid to a study that tracks theoretical intentions of young people, who are neither working nor parents, and it is foolish to interpret these findings as anything more significant than youthful speculation. While I personally find it interesting to ask my own daughter, who is a college sophomore, her plans regarding work and children, I would never presume to take her response too seriously. Her work experience is limited to summer jobs and her experience as a mother is (fortunately) non-existent. Ten years from now, after she has some experience dealing in the workplace and in the home, then I'll be delighted to give her opinions on this topic more credibility. Until then, I'll reserve my attention for women who have made their choices after giving birth.

It would be far more productive for our society if we payed more attention to promoting flexible work arrangements and spent less time pitting women against one another for the benefit of the media.

Take a Risk: Reap the Rewards

I was recently reminded about the importance of risk- taking when I read a wonderful article about this subject written by Bob Middleton of www.actionplan.com. I loved his advice so much that I wanted to share an exercise Bob had in the article. (In fact, I found the questions so compelling that I printed them out and posted them on my computer). I hope you'll enjoy this as much as I did. Here is the excerpt:

"Ultimately we'll only take a risk when we realize that the cost of not acting is greater than the cost of acting. Unfortunately we often have these realizations a little too late. What are those things you're putting off? Take a second to write a few of them down.

Now you have a short list of things you're not learning but could probably benefit from learning and another list of things you're not doing but would likely profit from if you got around to doing them. What I recommend is that you subject each item on your list to the following questions:

Is this something that would truly benefit me if I learned it or put it into action?

What are some of the possible benefits I might gain if I learned or did this thing?

What could I potentially lose if I didn't learn this thing or do this thing?

What's the worst that could happen if I took a risk and learned this thing or did this?

When you ask these four questions of every item on your list, you'll have reframed your risk. What used to look risky might not look so risky anymore. In fact, it might actually start looking like a great idea to learn or do this thing."

(Excerpted from an article by Robert Middleton of Action Plan Marketing. Please visit Robert's web site at www.actionplan.com for additional marketing articles and resources on marketing for professional service businesses.)

What risks are you thinking/worrying/fretting/or planning on taking? Post your responses here!

And What Are You Mom?

Over the past ten years, I've had the privilege of helping hundreds of wonderful Moms to find their best work-life balance solutions. One of the many things I've learned in working with my clients is that the questions I ask are often far more valuable than the advice I give. I've had many a client who has said to me, "Nancy, the turning point for me was when you asked...Why or How Come or What if?"

Great questions lead to great results. I'd like to share with you how one question changed my life.

When my oldest daughter Danielle was three years old, I was a stay-at-home-mom. One day, Danielle came home from a playdate with her friend Betsy and said, "Mommy, Betsy's Mom is a baker. What are you?" Caught a bit off-guard by her question, I replied, "I am your Mom." Danielle mulled over my response and then said, "Katie's Mom is an artist. What are you?" At this point, I was really flustered by her line of questioning, so I once again repeated, "I am your Mom."

Danielle stood there for a moment digesting my response. Then she nodded her head as if she understood and stated, "Oh, that means you wash dishes." With a toss of her blonde hair, she grabbed her half-eaten bagel and marched out of the kitchen.

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to sit her down and give her a five-minute lecture about what it really means to be a Mom. I wanted her to know in no uncertain terms that being a Mom was a real job, and no, it was not all about doing dishes. I wanted her to understand that I had once been a successful executive with important deliverables and salary raises.

But, I said nothing.

Instead, I sat down and thought about what she had said. And once I calmed down, I realized that she had only stated the obvious. To her, I was someone who washed dishes, made meals and read her stories. She wasn't being judgmental or demeaning -- she was simply commenting on her reality.

It was at that moment that the light bulb went off in my head. With her one little innocent question, Danielle made me think seriously about what I wanted my life to stand for. Yes, I still wanted to be a hands-on Mom (dishes and all) but I also wanted to have a professional identity as well. It took me some time to figure out what that professional role was going to be, but thanks to Danielle the process got started sooner rather then later.

The right questions at the right time -- they can really change your life.

I want to know. Have you ever been asked a question that caused you to sit back, take stock and make a real change in your career direction? Share your story here-- we would all love to hear from you!

Children and Careers: A Great Mix

When I was younger, and thought about having children, one of the things I wondered about was the impact being a mom would have on my career. Back then, everything I read highlighted the difficulties of juggling work and family, the dreaded mommy-track and the penalties I would face if I opted-out of the workplace to raise my children.

Of course, like all of you, my desire to have children proved far stronger than my fears about my career. I took the plunge, and now many years and two wonderful daughters later, I couldn’t be happier with my decision.

In fact, becoming a mom actually proved to be a turning point in my professional life. Having children gave me the motivation to start my own business, the inspiration to pursue a unique market niche and the financial incentive to keep my nose to the grindstone (college bills have a way of doing that to you). Thanks to my children, I also acquired new skills that help me every day in the workplace – new computer programs, infinite patience, and the ability to multi-task 24/7.

I'll be the first to admit that juggling work and family is not always easy and for many moms (especially those that are single moms) it is a daily struggle. Nonetheless, this week in particular, it seems appropriate to honor the role being a Mom plays in our careers.

I want to know how being a mom has made a positive difference in your career. Please share your story on our blog by posting here.