Sick Child - Working Mom

I recently received an e-mail from a single mom who is worried about losing her job as a result of her excessive absences from work. First, this poor woman endured a series of personal health issues (pneumonia, ruptured spinal disk, etc.) which resulted in her missing three weeks of work. Since August, her 12 year-old daughter has taken sick with a variety of illnesses, ranging from strep to bronchitis to ear infections.

To date, her boss has been remarkably understanding, but my reader is understandably concerned that her boss will soon run out of patience.

She writes, "I don't how much longer they are going to put up with me not being there. I’m sure there are other single moms that have sickly children and have gone through this. Do you know if there is anything I can do to insure I won’t lose my job, because my daughter keeps getting sick?"

Nancy's reply: I wish I could give you a fail-safe solution that would "ensure" you don't lose your job, but unfortunately there is no magic bullet for dealing with this issue. Employers pay you to work and excessive absenteeism can eventually lead to termination.

But all is not hopeless and you have a number of things working in your favor that could limit the impact of your absetneeism. Your personal absences were due to conditions that have now been resolved, so presumbably that should limit your absenteeism in the futurre. Even more important, your boss has demonstrated a willingness to work with you and clearly values you as a hard-working employee.

Hopefully, your daughter's health issues will soon be behind her as well. But, since sore throats and the like are inevitable, now is a good time to discuss possible "sick-day solutions" with your employer.

Thank your employer for their understanding and let them know how much you appreciate their support. Emphasize that while you don't expect to have excessive absence in the future, that you'd like to have a plan in place that will help minimize work disruptions in the event of any absences in the future. Perhaps you can arrange to work from home when needed with a company laptop or home computer. Alternatively, you could suggest working extra hours during evenings and weekends. Your employer might have some suggestions as well as to the best way to manage this situation going forward.

Readers, what say you? How have you handled the working mom - sick child dilemma at your job?

Comments

[Susan Nisinzweig]

I used to have the same exact problem and missed a lot of work due to my 3 children passing things to each other and then to me. About 10 years ago I learned about some very effective ways that we could support our immune system and it made all the difference in the world. After that we didn't have missed days of school or work. Winter is just starting so for those kids who are like my kids used to be and tend to pick up everything, this could be very helpful information. I'm happy to send anyone who wants more information - just email me at snbiz@optonline.net and ask for an information packet on being healthy.
Susan

[Sonia]

I can certainly relate to this single mom. As a mother, I recall the times when my child was sick and I had to leave him in the care of others while I went to work with tears in my eyes because I wanted to be there to care for him.

My resolution is to try and consider a work at home job. After many prayers and researching, I'm grateful to now be working from home. I am earning an income and able to be there for my family. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

There are many legitimate work at home jobs that this single mom can research. You do need to consider the pros and cons to working at a corporate office vs. working from home.

Perhaps this single mom can discuss with her current employer the possiblilty of working at home a few days a week and a few days at the office.

Wishing you the best,

[OrlandoNan]

I am surprised that the federal Family and Medical Leave Act hasn't been mentioned - Nancy C., you might interview a labor lawyer and post his or her comments. I was under the impression that some workers were covered from workplace discrimination/demotion/firing with this act. It isn't a pass to just blow off work but I think there are important rights we should know about.
Nancy??

[Ann]

I'm in L.A., and there is an organization near my office that provides back up child care services, including for sick children. Obviously if the child was seriously ill, that might not work, but just a cold that is keeping them out of school might be no big deal. This org is called Children First, and I'd bet other cities have something similar. Alternatively, perhaps she could see if a neighbor, friend, or elderly person who wants to make a little extra money could watch the child on sick days. It isn't ideal, but neither is losing your job.

Also, my employer - and I believe it is required for CA employers - must allow you to use 1/2 of your own sick time to care for a family member, and of course FMLA is similar.

Good luck.
Ann

[Sharon]

I would suggest to this mom to develop a support system - of family and friends, particularly family - who would be willing to come stay with her daughter when she's sick and she absolutely cannot miss work. I have my mom in this situation. She could ask not just her parents, but one of her nearby siblings, a good friend, a trusted neighbor.

Return babysitting for a night out (for example), might be way to "repay" a friend or a neighbor.

If she doesn't have a support system now is the time to start developing one. ASK the people in your support system if they might be someone she could call in a situation like that. (So when it happens, they aren't thrown off-guard.)

I think that particularly for a single mom a support system is imperative.

[sharon]

One more think I forgot to add - someone mentioned FMLA - that time (up to 12 weeks) - must be taken consecutively, which doesn't help for a sore throat here, a fever there, an ear infection here. A day here or a day there must come out of sick, vacation, or PTO time. Therefore, I agree it is best to minimize it as much as possible.

Also, at 12 years old, it won't be too much longer before her daughter is old enough to stay home alone for the day with a cold. If she has to take her to a doctor's appointment, she can just take a couple of hours instead of the whole day.

[sharon]

One more think I forgot to add - someone mentioned FMLA - that time (up to 12 weeks) - must be taken consecutively, which doesn't help for a sore throat here, a fever there, an ear infection here. A day here or a day there must come out of sick, vacation, or PTO time. Therefore, I agree it is best to minimize it as much as possible.

Also, at 12 years old, it won't be too much longer before her daughter is old enough to stay home alone for the day with a cold. If she has to take her to a doctor's appointment, she can just take a couple of hours instead of the whole day.

[sharon]

One more think I forgot to add - someone mentioned FMLA - that time (up to 12 weeks) - must be taken consecutively, which doesn't help for a sore throat here, a fever there, an ear infection here. A day here or a day there must come out of sick, vacation, or PTO time. Therefore, I agree it is best to minimize it as much as possible.

Also, at 12 years old, it won't be too much longer before her daughter is old enough to stay home alone for the day with a cold. If she has to take her to a doctor's appointment, she can just take a couple of hours instead of the whole day.