Did You Opt-Out or Were You Pushed Out?

The media is all abuzz over a recent report published by The UC Hastings College of the Law titled “ ‘Opt Out’ or Pushed Out?: How the Press Covers Work/Family Conflict" In a nutshell, the report questions the "myth" perpetuated by the press that moms leave the workplace as a "choice." Joan Williams, author of the study concludes that the press has falsely identified the pull of family life as the main reason why women quit, whereas a recent study showed that 86 percent of women cite workplace pushes (such as inflexible jobs) as a key reason behind the decision of moms to leave.

What do you think? If you had been offered an opportunity to work a flexible schedule would you have chosen differently? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this subject. Please post by hitting the comments hyperlink below.

Comments

[Rachel]

Personally, I want more than anything to be home with my daughter. Every day I drop her off and wish to God I didn't have to leave her. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I was making at least twice the money I am making and was able to work less than half the hours I am working I might want to keep my job. But for now I am looking for something I can do from home at any time of day, like when she is napping or sleeping at night.

[Kim Moldofsky]

I think it's a great report! I hope the media follows up on the report's tips for new storylines regarding "Opt-out Moms."

I especially appreciated the section on how the media tends to paint an overly rosy picture about what it's like to transition back to work. Hooray! I'm ahead of the curve with my blog Navigating the On-ramp at http://austinmama.com/austinmamablog/KimMoldofsky.html .

[E.B.]

When I returned to work from having baby #2, my supervisor frequently commented on how hard it must be to leave him in some stranger's care; made sure I was tied to a specific (and longer) work day; the company wanted to throw me a baby shower but my boss made sure I found out she had it canceled; and some of my most intricate (and enjoyable) duties now belong to a male co-worker. The birth announcement I sent the department was removed and put in the trash the day I returned. - Yup. I was meant to find it.

If I could flex, as I did BEFORE the baby, things would have/could have been much easier. In the last two years, other "fun" things have happened to push me out but I find that my presence is more annoying to her and is one of the few pleasures I have in my job now.

A coworker just had baby #2 and the boss wants to throw HIM a shower because it is so hard on him now with two children entering childcare (duh!). His time was flexed so he can use his leave as he needs without using sick/vacation leave and limiting his need for use of FML. His wife will be going back to work so my boss wants to make sure things flow smoothly for him so HE can leave if there is a child care problem.

I've been with this company five+ years while my co-worker is in the middle of his second year. Favoritism? Yes. I am the only woman working for this female supervisor. She's interviewed other women for various positions but feels that those with small children a burden on the department. What about my EE Officer? Pretty much the same viewpoint. My complaints have fallen on deaf ears, and told that is the price of being a working mom.

Aren't these the same women who helped us get the positions we're in now? The same ones who said we could have it all? I felt (and still feel) forced to choose on a daily basis between the financial needs of my family and the emotional needs of my children. I am gratful for a supportive husband who gives me the option to leave weekly; and to my children who think Mommy's boss just can't remember baby #2's name because she's so busy.

[Christy Robinson]

My situation is just the opposite. About a year and a half ago I created a proposal (using the tools on Jobs and Moms website...THANK YOU!!) to reduce my hours to 32 a week working Mon-Thurs. After several months of negotiation (and not giving up) my company agreed. I have been working 4 days a week for almost a year and now they want me to go back to a 40 hour week, 5 days a week. The reason....it would increase team/department morale and rid of the perception that my boss is playing favorites....remember I reduced my hours which meant also my pay!! Now that I know I can do my job effectively and successfully in 4 days rather than 5 and realize how much happier I am because I have work life balance I am inclined to quit my job before going back to a 5 day work week. Opt out or pushed out? You decide.

[ak takeshta]

I am a "older" but wiser ex-working mom. I have worked and dedicated myself to this successful software company for 6 years... and was eventually pushed out of the company when I became a mother... but with a nice leave package. I was actually glad that the company decided to let me go. The company had merged with a much younger male oriented "non-family" working style and clearly didn't have much understanding or support for women, especially those with children. The moment my new "bosses" met me, they didn't bother to get to really know me and my contribution to the company and quickly went to HR/in house lawyers to get the papers to have me released from my job. Unfortunately, me and several other department members was let go as well. But the reality of the fact was that I was obviously unhappy of my working situation and needed to the time to breathe, spend time with my toddler son and rethink my job direction. So I eventually attended school part time, to brush up on some skillsets that I lacked when being in one position for years...and now I'm starting to look for part-time and or stay-at-home jobs...and to be quite honest I am scared of going "out there" to look and interview. It seems to be very male/fast career oriented here in Silicon Valley, California. And I know that working men that do have kids, struggle to make the time to spend with them due to late hours at the their job and when they get home...logging into the office for hours. And many working moms in the valley are frustrated with the burden of juggling both career and parenting. So with that said, I'm trying to get out of the software business altogether and refocus on something else. Thanks for listening.